for once

he said, he saw a light in my eyes.
a light that he longed to see.
a light that says, my heart beats
for its life, not just for life itself.

did they? i didn't see.
i did not smile, i did not frown.
i just sat there and listen
to his loving words i have long to hear.

he said, he's happy that i finally see,
that my happiness lies inside me.
not within his arms nor his kiss,
but within my heart.

did they? i didn't know.
all i know, i wanted to live forever,
to be by his side.
and that was all i am about.

he said, he'd miss me lying next to him,
watching me stretch myself
after waking up or making love
and the many kisses afterwards.

will you? i'll never really know.
with this pen i sign my separation from him.
wishing that all the light and happiness
was for once caused by him.